“But I’m Not Finished!”: Making Transitions Easier for Children
Written by Chloe Gurung (Behaviour Therapist)
We have all experienced the frustration of having to stop something we enjoy and move on to something else or when things do not go the way we expected. For children, being asked to pack away their toys, leave the playground, or stop a preferred activity can often be met with a frustrated, “But I’m not finished!”. Transitions can bring up feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and may sometimes result in challenging behaviours such as tantrums, resistance or refusal. Why does this happen?
For some children, this may be a way of communicating that they don’t feel ready for change and are attempting to avoid the transition. For others, it may reflect that they find the next activity less enjoyable and have learnt that the more they resist the transition, the more delayed it becomes. Understanding the “why” behind a child’s response can help us identify ways to make transitions easier for them to manage.
So, how can we make transitions a little easier?
1. Create a visual schedule
A visual schedule shows a child a clear sequence of activities that they will complete and what order they will occur in. This can allow the child to anticipate transitions with less anxiety. For instance, instead of repeatedly telling a child to pack away their toys and do homework, a visual schedule can show the sequence “Pack Away —> Homework —-> Playtime.” This way, the child knows what they need to do now, what activity is coming next, and when they will get to access their preferred activity.
2. Provide a warning
A simple, but effective strategy is to provide advance notice before finishing an activity. Rather than saying “It’s time to pack up!” when transitioning to another activity, it can be useful to provide a five-minute warning for instance. This can be followed by a one-minute warning, which can make the transition more predictable.
3. Positive reinforcement
Providing reinforcement after successfully moving to another activity can encourage the child to transition well again in the future. When your child completes a transition, it is best to reward the desired behaviour immediately. This can look like providing access to a highly preferred activity, verbal praise, stickers, etc. However, it is important to note that every child is different, and what may work for one child may not for another.
4. First–Then, language (Premack Principle)
First–then language can allow children to understand what is expected of them while also knowing when they will have access to a preferred activity. The Premack Principle involves using a behaviour that a child enjoys to then encourage participation in a less-preferred behaviour (Premack, 1959). First complete the less-preferred activity, then provide access the preferred activity. For example, saying “First finish your homework, then you can play” provides a clear sequence to the child and gives them something to look forward to after finishing the less-preferred task. Understanding what really motivates your child can help ensure the “then” activity encourages engagement.
The next time your child says “But i’m not finished”, remember that they may not know how to communicate that they may find the transition difficult. They might need a little more time to prepare, or maybe want to know what is happening next. With the right strategies, children can feel more prepared and build confidence when transitioning from one task to another.
References:
Premack, D. (1959). Toward Empirical Behavior Laws: I. Positive Reinforcement. Psychological Review, 66, 219-233.
http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/h0040891